We’ve all be in the company of someone who seems too serious, thus regarded as callous, edgy, and unapproachable. This serious class, if you willhave taken Vishen Lakhiani’s unfuckwithable ideology to an entirely different level. Like, for instance, the ambiance they’ve crafted is analogous to an invisible electroshock force field that many dare not touch.   


There is a tie between the ambiance of each of us and the masks we wear. Nonetheless, the personas we assume are contextual to how others perceive us. Respectively, when given titles such as callous, edgy, and unapproachable, you deal with preconceived notions that you’re cold-hearted.    


Furthermore, over the years, I’ve had several people tell me, “at times you look too serious” or “sometimes you look so angry!” Because I never walk while holding a mirror to my face, I was unaware of my occasional stoic-uninviting look. However, as I began to reflect on those commentaries, I could agree with those comments. In retrospect, every so often, I’m deep in thought. At times, I’m wearing my game face. Though overall, day by day, I’m in my natural introverted state


That said, be it for a defense mechanism, mood swings, or other reasons, I realize that some people innately or purposely assume a standoffish facade. But what about introverts and their icy temperament? You know, the person who is so quiet that, they incite a buzz of whispers and interest from others, hence his/her demeanor is like a lightning rod for those who are curious and loud. I’m also referring to that extra reserved person; hence, the consensus is S/he’s unapproachable, thus abrasive.   



Years ago, in one of my Communications classes, I learned about the theory of Self-Disclosure. It is a philosophy that explains the interaction between two people upon the conception of a relationship. Per Self-Disclosure, as newfound acquaintances begin to bond, the revelation of each other’s self is disclosed slowly, one layer at a time. Ultimately, as the union between the two becomes stronger, and both parties equally remove more layers, the essence of the person, i.e., their true self, is revealed.    


Some have likened this concept to peeling the layers of an onion to reach its core. We’re all multifaceted creatures with many coatings that conceal our true selves. Our layers are not only the genealogical makeup of our being but our masks/defense mechanism.



In the case of the introvert, I know that our layers are not onion peels, but instead, hard-thick nutshells from which we do not leave unless the stimuli are of genuine interest. And so enter the commentary and rhetoric of those who do not understand why? Our critics question our right to remain silent. The onlookers dare not come close for fear of electroshock.

To our spectators, we’re seemingly unsolvable-colorless Rubik’s Cubes. Contrariwise, on the inside, there are more shades and dimensions than a prism. These colors are bold as love and loud as an orgasm.


To our spectators, we’re a Minnesota winter on a hot Texas summer day. Conversely, there’s a burning fire within every introvert. The heat is as intense as the passion we have for stimuli that summons us from our hard-thick shells and as abrasive as our disdain for all we despise.


Beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen, for all who will interact with you, very few will come to know the true you unless you allow them to peel or crack your layers. Your mask or persona dictates preconceived notions concerning your overall character.


That said, for the introvert, quiet, in turn, is loud. Reserved translates to abrasive. Introverted traits are and always will equal misunderstood.


Warm regards,

Joshua Kamara